I am not perfect; I am not infallible, unflappable or stoic; I lack confidence and have fragile self-esteem; I am indecisive and can procrastinate as much, if not more than anyone else; I am not always calm, carefree, and happy; I do not have a life which is free from stress, anxiety or depression, and “yes” I even have a few phobias. AND one more thing… I am a mother, agghh, and sometimes I think, my kids don’t stand a chance (low self-esteem “10 points”, me, myself, and I “nil points”).
But I am human, and I am real.
I may have all the solutions to your problems, (oops say “hello” to little miss arrogant) but none of the solutions to my own problems. That’s right, I have not solved all my own problems, my husband’s problems, or my children’s problems, yet, but it is a working progress. And here’s a revelation… not all problems need solving, sometimes the “solution” lies in acceptance, or a change of perspective.
I was bullied horrendously as a teen, as an adult, and even by some of my bosses; as a child/pre-teen, I experienced some very inappropriate behaviour from a trusted adult; and in my late teens I had a serious relationship which turned rather abusive. I’ve experienced the heart-breaking loss of significant loved ones, including my Mum. My marriage has had some very serious bumps in the road, that would break many, and as a parent, things are not always plain sailing, sometimes our home feels like a battleground. I get stressed, depressed, and anxious, and I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep for years!
So, you may think “What kind of a therapist are you, when you can’t even sort your own problems/life/self, out?” Or you may think “Wow, I thought my life was bad, but she has got ISSUES!”. But hopefully, most will think “That therapist might have her own problems but at least this means she can really understand and relate to me and my problems”, some or you might even think “I can really see how working with her could help me so much”. And it may come as a bit of a surprise to learn that… sometimes working with my clients on overcoming some of their challenges helps me too.
A therapist listens without judgment, as you explore your experiences; offers empathy and understanding, as you work through your feelings; helps you to consider different perspectives and find your own solution as you unravel the problem/s. It can help you accept yourself, warts-and-all, with unconditional love and compassion, and can empower you to make the changes you are looking for.
To conclude, my job is not to solve your problems, give advice, or tell you what you should or shouldn’t be doing, because I’m sure many of you have enough well-meaning people like that in your life. But I can help you tap into, and utilise, your own very powerful inner resources to affect change, to become the best you, and live your best life.