All hell broke loose two months ago. He knew it could happen — still, he was shaken by the initial attack. He’s rebuilding now, using crisis insights he’s gathered over the years. What to do when you’re overwhelmed by life? According to him…

There is only one thing that I dread: not to be worthy of my sufferings.   Fyodor Dostoevsky

Introduction

I began this two-part series last week, and there were two primary reasons for putting it together…

1. A very difficult set of circumstances befell me two months ago (the “he” in the opening paragraph is me). I believed sharing would help take the edge off..
2. I believed if my sharing included some of the crisis insights I’ve learned, and currently use. readers could benefit.

It’s all explained in part one.

Setting the table

In part one, to strengthen our connection, I shared the diagnoses that have been pretty consistent over the past 40 years: panic disorder with agoraphobia, generalized anxiety disorder, OCD, and alcohol use disorder (in remission),

As you may imagine, I’ve experienced my share of personal crises. And given the fact that you’re reading this, it looks like I survived all of them (pretty much intact). It’s those survival experiences that provided the crisis insights I continue to use — and pass on to you.

Good common sense

I shared a quotation in part one from the film Apollo 13. I’m going to start this section with another one from lead flight director Gene Kranz (Ed Harris).

Shortly after all space hell broke loose, Kranz said to flight manager Sy Liebergot (Clint Howard)…

Let’s look at this thing from a standpoint of status. What have we got on the spacecraft that’s good?

With that measure of good common sense in our back pockets, let’s roll…

Crisis insights

The dominoes may well stop falling on their own. If they don’t, it’s on each of us to make it happen.

Okay, the initiating event just went down. You now have a crisis on your hands, and it cuts to your soul. After giving it a read-through, keep this list close at hand…

1. If you’re having thoughts of suicide or other forms of self-harm, have the foresight to reach out for help: 988 Lifeline, 911, your therapist or psychiatrist, the closest ER. No risk-taking allowed
2. Don’t expect to feel the least bit warm and fuzzy — toss the “everything’s okay” routine, by the way. It isn’t okay, and every square centimeter of your mind and body are making sure you don’t forget it. And avoid viewing your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors as abnormal. Given the circumstances, I’d say they’re 100% normal.
3. Consider your traditional patterns of thought. Many of us have become cognitive distortion (e.g., overgeneralizations, catastrophizing) experts. It may be that your immediate circumstances aren’t as desperate or hopeless as you think. IF YOU’RE HAVING THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE OR SELF-HARM, IGNORE THIS ONE — NO RISKS, SEEK HELP.
4. Separate the crisis goings on from your personal identity. Never forget how powerful our inboard “butt-kicking” mechanisms are. Really – this has nothing to do with who you are.
5. Come to the understanding that there’s nothing brain-structure/chemistry irreparably wrong with you. And you aren’t a “psycho-freak.” You’re dealing with a resolvable environmental issue.
6. Most of us have been through times of crisis a time or two. Recall your last experience. You couldn’t have felt hopeful, but here you are.
7. Are you thinking about solving each and every issue before bedtime? No, leave it at taking on just one at a time, and monitor the impact.
8. Stay away from prognosticating on how you’ll feel in, say, two weeks – based upon how you feel now. I’m thinking you won’t like the outcome.
9. Don’t turn to abusive behavior for relief. It may seem like a natural, but every time you dodge a growth opportunity, the reality of positive change fizzles. This isn’t the time for iffy judgment.
10. Get with people – or even just one person. A trusted family member, friend, your counselor or psychiatrist, a clergyperson, crisis line staffer — don’t isolate. And remember, you may not think much of yourself right now, but others likely don’t share your opinion.
11. If you meditate, pray, practice yoga, journal, exercise — whatever —  get busy. And if you don’t have a go-to mind-calming activity, get busier.
12. It may sound corny, but visualize bright tomorrows. Now is the time to calmly examine your life and come up with thoughts of meaning and purpose. They’ll serve you well down the road.
13. Never, ever lose sight of hope. Just because you can’t imagine it exists, doesn’t mean it doesn’t. And remember those deceptive thought patterns.
14. Do you have a favorite comfy go-to? A pet, stuffed animal, comforter, pillow, etc.? Bring it close to you and give it a big hug.
15. Please don’t believe this is the end of the line for you. Millions have endured the same level of crisis and made it out. What makes you think they’re more savvy, determined, or deserving than you?

Okay, let’s do one more. A Chipur reader who’s endured her share of tough times shared some time ago…

You just gotta’ hold on, listen to your little voice, and somehow it always eventually gets better. You say, ‘Next time I will remember that it does get better and I’ll have more faith. Maybe I’ll end up blown apart but I’ll be wiser and have more compassion for myself, poor little kid, me.’

I hope the insights will bring you comfort.

That’s a wrap

Times of crisis — when reason, foresight, options, and hope become scarce. Are we to believe there isn’t a way out? I won’t accept that — will you?

Let’s close with the words of Viktor Frankl…

To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering.

Be sure to read part one: “What to do when you’re overwhelmed by life”

Please review the Chipur emotional and mental illness info and inspiration titles on the articles page — or by category below, right sidebar on desktop. We’ll both appreciate it.

After a decades-long wrestling match with emotional and mental illness, Bill finally found his professional and personal passion – life’s meaning. He wanted to lend a hand to those struggling as he did, so off he went to grad school at age 49 and earned his counseling credentials. He continues his service through Chipur and other projects.