I am an actor, writer and director who has suffered with OCD throughout my teenage years and early adult life, and have often felt awkward about opening up about it to my friends, particularly male friends. This led me to wonder ‘why do men feel so much more awkward and uncomfortable about opening up about mental health?’ and ‘what can I do to help with this issue?’.

The perfect opportunity came to fruition when my partner and I established our own theatre company in 2024 and set about writing our first play. One of the main themes of the play being the ‘intricacies of male friendships’ allowed me to shine a light on the difficult aspects of male friendships and lack of communication often found in these dynamics.

Through the power of theatre and storytelling we can show male characters in their most vulnerable moments in order to remind men that they are not alone. That speaking out and finding help should always be the choice that you make. It’s okay to not be okay.

WHAT WAS THE MAJOR TURNING POINT IN YOUR RECOVERY FROM OCD?

My struggles with OCD are ongoing, however, I currently feel that I am the most well equipped that I ever have been to tackle my intrusive thoughts and obsessions. This ability stemmed from speaking to therapists and fully understanding why my ‘brain acts the way that it does’. I have done lots of work on inner dialogues, understanding that my OCD’s purpose is to protect me and not to harm me and when I treat my OCD with kindness and understanding I can separate myself from my thoughts. An example of this would be:

Intrusive thought: ‘You left the oven on.’

Old response: (Panic) ‘Oh no, I definitely did, I have to turn back and go home right now.’

New response: (Deep breath) ‘Thank you for raising that issue, I am pretty certain that I turned it off. It’s okay for us to live with uncertainty.’

WHAT ARE SOME THINGS THAT REALLY HELPED?

• Learning that you can’t think your way out of overthinking. For ages, I fell into the trap of thinking that the only way out of an OCD spiral was to think my way out of it. This doesn’t work! Go out for a walk, put on your favourite show, exercise, call a friend or family member. You’ll feel much better for it, sometimes not everything has to be ‘solved’.
• Simply speaking to others about it. Through speaking to others you can learn so much about yourself and can allow people in so you don’t feel alone in your struggles. It is also incredibly surprising to learn how many other people struggle with similar issues, it helps to feel part of a community.
• The knowledge that ‘time heals all wounds’. I know for a fact that when I was 15 years old I would have been obsessing over an intrusive thought and thinking that if I didn’t complete a compulsion correctly then ‘the world will end’. However, I am now 25 and the world has not ended. Having the knowledge and perspective to see that your current worries always fade with the passing of time helps to lessen the impact they have on you in the current moment.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO OTHER GUYS FIGHTING OCD?

Be kind to yourself! Understand that recovery is not a linear path, there will be ‘good days’ and ‘bad days’ and that is all part of the process. Don’t ever feel bad for seeking help, that is always the correct step to take. Having self awareness that you are someone suffering from a mental illness and not ‘just a different person’ is extremely empowering and the first step on the road to recovery.

Understand that your OCD is just trying to protect you, however, YOU come first not your OCD! Once you are able to come to compromises with your ‘OCD voice’ then you will be able to lead the free and happy life that you deserve to lead!

Sam Dinnage
Cardiff, Wales, United Kingdom
@samdinnage