He thought it could never happen to him. But with a shock and awe strike, it sure did. And when the smoke cleared, he was all questions: “Should I be afraid?” “How could you let it happen?” “What’s it like to be homeless?” Then he just sat, shaking his head.

Three things cannot long be hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.   Confucius

Introduction

I’m 71-years-old and have been homeless for two months. It’s difficult to write that. But that’s just the way it goes because time isn’t going to stand still while I shake it off, lick my wounds, and quiet my anger.

I wrote part one of this series in follow up to another two-parter titled “What to do when you’re overwhelmed by iife.” No need to lay it all out again —- you’ll find anything you’d like to know about what led to my present circumstances in those articles (links at the end).

Why I stepped forward

Our misfortunes can bring coping skills and hope to others in a jam — provided we share them.

But there’s a portion of part one of this series I’d like to include — the three primary reasons I stepped forward about my homelessness…

• Shared misfortunes bring everyone opportunities to identify, learn, resolve, and heal
• I need to learn that I can share something culturally frowned upon without fear of judgment or loss of credibility
• I needed to get it off my chest

And there’s this from Chinese philosopher, Confucius…

Three things cannot long be hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.

Making it count

At the conclusion of part one, I said that as long as I’m in this position, I’d like to share, in detail, two of the many things I’ve experienced and learned. I went so far as to say you may find them interesting — even helpful.

I hope you’ll understand how important that is to me. I’ve paid the price for my share of miscalculations and mistakes. If they help someone sidestep distress, they’ve at least counted for something.

Let’s go…

1.  Be kinder to myself

The good news is, I don’t blame anyone for being in this position. The bad news is, I’ve been very hard on myself emotionally and mentally. In fact, at times it’s been difficult to tolerate myself.

That kind of self-demeaning behavior isn’t all that unusual for someone with a history of anxiety and mood disorders. But I was taken aback by the intensity and frequency of the attacks. For example, even in the face of reasonable explanations, here’s how it went down prior to writing part one…

You’re 71-years-old, Bill, and you’re — say it — homeless. Your children and grandchildren know, and now you’re going to make an announcement on your blog. What’s wrong with you?

It didn’t stop there. I’ve visualized high school classmates learning the truth, shaking their heads, and laughing at me. Yes, there’s more.

Have you ever treated yourself like that? Do you now? How can we expect to rebuild our lives if we can’t be respectful to ourselves?

Experiencing the surprisingly intense “Self-Wrath of Bill,” I’ve learned that I need to be kinder to myself.

2.  It won’t always be alright

As much as we may want to believe otherwise, it isn’t always going to be alright.

If I asked what your role was in your early years family system, I’ll bet you could blurt it right out. Am I right? I was the kid and teen who wanted everything to be alright with my mom and dad — to the carried-away point of repeatedly asking if they’d be alright if I went out after dinner.

i carried that role into adulthood, and it didn’t take long for it to morph into actually believing everything will be alright — especially in my world. As you can imagine, an ongoing unconscious sense of “it’ll be alright” can do wonders for handling inconvenient tasks and responsibilities.

“Alrightitis”

I’ve thought about it frequently during this homeless stretch, and have no doubt “alrightitis” has played a role. In fact (almost comically), several times I’ve caught myself playing the “it’ll be alright” card when feeling down about my circumstances.

Actually, it’s a great way of approaching life — as long as it doesn’t sit-in for taking care of business.

Does anything I’ve shared in this piece hit home — even if it’s not related to homelessness?

It’s not the end of the world

Homelessness: demeaning, treacherous, inconvenient, culturally frowned upon. The odds may be stacked against it. but could it befall you or someone you care about? Can you visualize how you’d feel if it did?

Okay, I’m homeless — I don’t want to be and I’m working my way out of it. But as long as I am, I’ll take in all I can, learn, and use the knowledge to help anyone in the midst of a rough go.

Seriously, it’s not the end of the world.

To grab the full benefit from the series, be sure to read part one: “What’s it like to be homeless?”:

The articles that got things started…
What to do when you’re overwhelmed by life
What to do when you’re overwhelmed by life | 2

Please peruse the Chipur emotional and mental illness info and inspiration titles on the articles page — or by category below, right sidebar on desktop. We’ll both appreciate it.

After a decades-long wrestling match with emotional and mental illness, Bill finally found his professional and personal passion – life’s meaning. He wanted to lend a hand to those struggling as he did, so off he went to grad school at age 49 and earned his counseling credentials. He continues his service through Chipur and other projects.